Now, I'm a real cashier at my local dollar store. The inner child in me still loves scanning merchandise. I enjoy the motions of sliding the cereal box across the metal, hearing the beep, and putting it in the bag, only to do it again.
But it's a little different now. There's a computer involved that I am still trying to figure out. I have to card people when they buy alcohol or tobacco. I have long lines of people with impatient faces and crying children. There are procedures and systems that don't make sense. I have to tell people to take a survey that I know they don't want to take. Discounts don't ring up, so I call up the manager and the line grows longer as she finds the sign that offers the sale then squabbles with the computer. The stakes are high; if I let a minor buy tobacco, I could lose my job. I have to watch out for shoplifters and follow safety procedures. My co-workers, though none of them mean, are not always easy to work with and make me feel like I am messing things up. Due to the lack of employees, I am being forced to learn by trial and error, which I love when I get a new electronic device, but not when other people's happiness, life, and my job are at stake. I like the swiping. I like hearing the beep. I love the older ladies that smile at me and tell me to take my time. But it's not anything like the fun I imagined when I was five.
Other than making me emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, I'm not sure where this leaves me. Though I never thought I would be my favorite pastime, I now know for sure that I don't like working retail. Yet I have to go back to work. I am looking for another job, but most of the ones I have found are still part time, which would add to my income but not let me leave my retail position.
I guess this leaves me where I am now discovering everything eventually leads to- thanksgiving and prayer.
I have a job, and that is a huge blessing. Though I don't like it, it is better than many other jobs, like being a garbage man, a soldier, or working at a cemetery. Maybe as I get to know my co-workers more I can share the gospel with them and invite them to church which is right around the corner from where I work.
God, I pray that You will give me the strength to get through this job for as long as You have me there. Please help me be at peace, to not be afraid of the fast paced work environment, to simply do my best and be a light for You. However, I also ask that You will provide for me a different job that is more suited to my personality, strengths, and the direction I would like my career to go.