Watching the Stars

  

 Growing up, I was the strange child that always answered the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" the same way with, "I am going to be a mother and author."

 I was the freshman in high school that already declared herself as a creative writing major when college was still four years away.

 I was the sophomore in college that got annoyed with the amount of people asking me if I had switched that creative writing major yet.

 I am the senior graduating in a month with a creative writing degree that has no regrets.


 There was never a doubt about pursuing creative writing in high school, or college, and now that graduation is approaching, it is still what I want to do. I didn't over spiritualize it, wondering if this is what God truly wanted me to do. I didn't take God out of the picture, either. Starting in eigth grade, I knew my writing would be to glorify God, to proclaim the gospel to beleivers and un-beleivers. I would pursue a degree and publication, and God would either grant those things to me or not.    
 
So this is my question for myself:

  Why have I always pursued my writing and nothing else?

 That friend who seems distant and I long to reconnect with- why do I not ask to eat lunch with her?

 That guy I like- why do I feel the need to avoid him instead of talking to him?

 This area of Michigan- why am I not trying to figure out a way to stay?

 I don't remember when my views on God's will became flawed, but I remember when I realized they were. A few months ago I read Kevin DeYoung's book Just Do Something, and I was waiting for God to give me some miraculous sign or obvious answer to big, life decisions I would soon have to make. I was waiting for an amazing and random job offer, or for the stars to spell out which state God wanted me to choose. Though God can work that way, He usually doesn't. DeYoung writes that generally, unless what we are thinking of doing goes against God's Word, we should just do it. 

 But I am not a natural doer. I am not good at initiating anything.

 However, my mom recently told me, "You can't make a mistake. You are not going to mess up God's plan." 

 I recently initiated re-connecting with my friend, and it has been wonderful. I wonder if she had been waiting for me to do so.

 I am praying. I am seaking God's council. But there comes a point when I need to just do something, when I need to stop watching the stars for a sign and do something. I pray He will give me the strength to do that, just as I have done for writing. I pray I will know when to watch and wait, and when to do.

 Do you have any big decisions to make soon? 

How has God been faithful to you during this time?