When the Lord Your God Was King

"And when you saw that Nahash the king of the Ammonites 
came against you, you said to me, 'No, but a king shall 
reign over us,' when the Lord your God was king."

1 Samuel 12:12, ESV

 I've begun reading the books of Samuel, and I've been taken back to the first time hearing the story of King Saul. I remember wondering why the Israelite's desire for a king was so bad. It seemed reasonable to me, especially since the judges didn't seem to have any lasting good. Every other nation had a king, so why not Israel? 

 What I didn't see was that God was their king. What need did they have for a king when the Lord was on their side?

What I didn't realize was that their desire to be like the other nations was exactly what God didn't want. They were His chosen people, set apart by Him. Why then would they want to be like other nations and have a king when the very fact that they were different meant their safety and prosperity?

 What I didn't read was 1 Samuel 12:12. When Israel saw the king of the Ammonites coming toward them with his army and were afraid, they did not turn to God. Instead, they begged for a king to lead them into battle. Despite the fact that in all of their years of existence it was the Lord that lead them into battle and gave them their victory. 

...why...when the Lord your God was king?

So Samuel begins to sound like Judges and Exodus and Genesis. The Lord is good and faithful. Israel is stupid and unfaithful. But God chooses to continue to love them. 

 It sounds like other blog posts of mine. The Lord is good and faithful. I am stupid and unfaithful. But God chooses to continue to love me.

 The writer in me says, "A book that keeps recycling the plot over and over again within itself? Not good," not to mention my own blog posts that keep showcasing this theme. 

 But this is good. As I have said before and will say again, just as the people of Israel could not (or would not) remember all of the victories God won for them throughout the Bible, we too cannot remember the faithfulness of our God each day.

 If you tire of reading these words from me, please realize that I keep writing these words because I need to hear them. And I think you do, too. As the author of "Because He Loves Me" writes, the gospel is not just for the unsaved. 

 As my eyes lingered on 1 Samuel 12:12, I began to replace some words with my own idols.

"And when you saw that _______________, you said to me, 'No, __________________,' when the Lord your God was ________."

 When we fill in the verses with our own idols and demands, it makes our hopeless unfaithful hearts even more clear. 

 And when I saw that everyone was married except me, I said, "No, I deserve to be married, too," when Jesus Christ was my beloved. 

 I think the Bible has this repetition of Israel's unfaithfulness contrasted with God's constant faithfulness because it truly happened and to show us our depravity compared to His holiness. And then to point us to Jesus who paid for that depravity on the cross. 

 The Lord my God is king. So though I stumble and wish for an earthly king every day, when I am afraid, I will keep running to my king.

"And Samuel said to the people, 'Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself."

1 Samuel 12:20-22, ESV

How A Tiny Church in Maine Changed My View of Failure

Many years ago my dad planted trees all around our yard. There were two special balsam firs, one taller than the other. My sister and I quickly claimed them as "our trees", and we helped to plant them and decide where they would go. 

 We still watch our trees and see how they've grown. My sister's tree has grown tall, full, and straight. But my tree has struggled. For the longest time it wouldn't grow. The trunk curled to the right and though it straightened eventually, there's an awkward extension like the handle of a tea cup. And if you look closely, my tree is slanted.

 Recently, my tree feels like a visual reflection of my life. Like my tree, my life seems to be going nowhere. I live at home, I'm single, I have a job in a factory, my writing is struggling, my Bachelors degree has been useless, I've only gotten no's from overseas opportunities, and I am unsure about what I want to be doing in two or three years. I'm just like my crooked, skinny tree.   
 A few weeks ago I was able to take a break from all of those things and spend a weekend in Maine with friends. Sunday morning we worshiped with our sister church- a church that, like mine, has the same send off or "mother" church. 

 My friends told me the church was small. I heard jokes about how our group would double the congregation that morning. But I still wasn't prepared for just how small. At the most there may have been about fifty-five to sixty people, there, including our group of twenty-two. And maybe most surprising was the lack of children.

 It would be easy for us and the church to assume they are a failure, but we don't think that way. Instead, it is encouraging. This church was started about eight years ago and the pastor has been faithfully preaching the Word without fail no matter how many people show up on a Sunday. I know it has been difficult for them to press on at times, but the gospel must be preached whether it is for an audience of twenty or two hundred. God uses the churches of small towns and low numbers as much as he uses the gospel preaching mega churches. This little church looks past the numbers and past the traditional meaning of success to see what God sees: a small church faithfully preaching the gospel and reaching their community with the love of Christ. Isn't that what every church does? Isn't that what every individual believer does?

 I would never call this little church a failure. They are not as big as my church. They have struggled more than most of our fellow church plants and are even smaller than the newest one that is only a year or two old. Of course we want our churches to thrive and grow and plant other churches and fund missionaries and have the capabilities to help in our communities. But at the end of the day all that matters is if the church preached the gospel. 

 My life looks like a failure. From a certain standpoint it is. There is a reason I was not offered jobs and internships. Though there is no shame in working at a factory, I have failed to get a writing job and have failed to finish a book.

 I fail every day in my sin. But I am not a failure. My debt has been paid by Jesus' blood. And isn't that the main point of the gospel? I, we, are failures. We are dead in our sin. But Jesus died for that sin. 

 So if today, God wants me to follow Him by working at a factory, being single, applying for opportunities I may or may not get, and figuring out what my future holds, who am I to argue? It may not be what I had hoped. It may not be glamorous. But it is what God has given to me. 

 My tree may be crooked and strange and not the best tree in our yard. But it is standing and green and growing. And it is mine.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my 

power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast 

all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of 

Christ may not rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I 

am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, 

and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV

"But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every 

way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. 

And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice..."

Philippians 1:18, NIV

"The Lord measures the faithfulness 
of our labor, not our success."
~ John Piper

New Favorite Things // May 2018

 I once read about a "Favorite Things" party in a magazine. Every year around the holidays several women got together to celebrate. It was always before or after the Thanksgiving and Christmas rush since none of them had time nor could they gather when they had family obligations. But they set aside a specific time each year to celebrate the season with each other and share a new favorite thing.

 It could be a book they discovered and loved. It could be a recipe. It could be a new lotion or product that revolutionized life. Whatever it was, they would buy one for each friend, sharing the story of why it became a favorite thing.

 So until I have my own place and can host a "Favorite Things" party of my own, here are some of my new favorite things.

ESV Scripture Journals
 My mom made this discovery. You've heard of Journaling Bibles, and this is the same thing, only individual books of the Bible. It is a slim and somewhat small book with the verses on the left page and a blank page with light lines on the right. You can buy the whole New Testament (hopefully the Old Testament will be out soon) or one book of the Bible. 

 My church just started the book of John, so that is the one I got. I've been doing a combination of sermon notes, personal reflections, and drawings and it has been fun and helpful for really getting into John. For the next book I may just use my ESV Scripture Journal for personal reflections and prayers and see if I like it better. 

  
David's Tea
 A new store opened in my area, and it's a loose leaf tea store out of Canada called David's Tea! They have an entire wall of canisters with tea and more flavors than I imagined. I have to admit I am hooked. Their tea is stronger and richer in flavor. Plus they have the coolest names for their teas, like Cold 911. 


What's the Point of Art?
 Since getting an i-phone, I have been enjoying the new world of podcasts. So when I stumbled upon What's The Point of Art from The Gospel Coalition, I listened to it the next day on my way to work. I love how God works, because over these last few months I have been wrestling with my writing and the gospel and how they connect on a functional level. How do I write good literature without being preachy since I am writing stories and not sermons? But how can I not put the gospel into my writing since the gospel is the most important thing in my life and the entire world? What is the balance? 

 I concluded that I was overthinking things as usual. But the question was still there. And then I listened to this podcast. I am still unclear as to how the gospel will appear in my writing specifically. But this podcast was so helpful to me. And I think that other artists would love it, too. It is about creating art and not just for writers. So I encourage artists and art enthusiasts alike to listen. Though on the longer side, Jackie Hill Perry is hilarious, and it seemed short to me. I need to listen to it again!

Newly Discovered Music
 These are the songs I've been playing on repeat, lately.

 On Jordan's Stormy Banks by Peter Bradley

 St. Clarity - Mahogany Sessions by The Paper Kites

 Fall Away by Jackie Hill Perry

 Delicate by Taylor Swift


Mochithings
 Super excited and nerding out on this cool Korean website that sells notebooks, journals, stickers, and other office type supplies. Maybe it is the type of stuff they sell. Maybe it's the Asian designs and vibes. Maybe it's the specific and detailed sticky notes (I just got cherry blossoms!!) Whatever it is, I love it! I'm not one to spend money easily, but I was literally squealing as I viewed every page. So check out mochithings. 


 What are some of your new favorite things?