What Is New and What Is the Same // Colombia 2017

 The sun is brighter here.

 There are flowers and green grass in the middle of February.

 And the air is thick with pollution. It smells like cigarette smoke, exhaust fumes, and other smells all foreign and unfamiliar.

 But especially in the mornings, the smell of fruit just sliced will break through the smog. 

 I touch each palm tree as we walk through the busy city, and it feels smooth and fake, so unlike the rough bark of the trees at home. 

 I touch the flowers, these magical winter flowers, and they are the same softness of petals I recognize. 

 Things that are new and things that are the same.

 At times, I forget what is new and what is the same. 

 The pineapple is the same, but so new, so juicy, so unbelievably fresh and sweet. 

 A city is not new, and lying in my bed, I almost forget this foreign city is new between the horns and the gunned motors and the city that is incapable of sleep- until an unfamiliar Colombian melody blares. 

 Streets that are clean, streets full of garbage. 

 Then a man walks up-hill, a full garbage bag larger than his body strung across his shoulders and almost trailing the ground. 

 Then another man opens his door and water floods onto the narrow side walk as he mops his entryway. 

 And I am wearing shorts in February. 

 "We're right above the equator in Medellin," people say. "That is why it is warm in February." But it is still magic, just like it would be magic for them to visit us and see the white snow and frost and feel the cold and see their breath. You can see your breath. But not here. 

 It's magic. 

 New magic is palm trees.

 Old magic is seeing my breath and the clear point of icicles. 

 Spanish words dance around me and I touch another palm tree.

 Each finger on a palm tree is a kiss for the Colombia that I may never see again. 

 Almost three thousand miles away, and there is the same moon and there is the same sun. 

 Almost three thousand miles away and they sing Amazing Grace and Holy, Holy, Holy, and request songs from Sovereign Grace. 

 We rotate from singing in Spanish then English- new then the same, but really all the same worshiping the same God. 

 This same sun, new but the same but new, is so bright I can feel it warm my icy being. 

My Birthday Prayer // Colombia 2017

  

 How do I pack for a week in a foreign country where I won't know what work I'll be doing or what I will need? 

 I'm not sure.

 How do I prepare for the rest of my life where I don't know what work I'll be doing or what I will need?

 I'm not sure I can.

 Cause I'm trying to do both.

 I'm packing nice clothes for church and being tourists, work clothes I can get paint on, work clothes I don't want paint on, t-shirts and sweaters, shorts and pants, flip-flops and sneakers. I hope it's enough.

 I got a bachelor's degree so I can have a well paying job and an internship to gain experience for a well paying job. Since the age of fifteen I've been babysitting to practice taking care of children, cooking to learn how to feed my family, blogging to practice writing and building an audience, writing short stories to prepare for a novel. I know it wasn't enough since I now wrap chocolate for a living.

 The leaders of the Colombia trip have all been saying one thing: be flexible. 

  Flexibility, both in my body and in life have never been my strong points. But I can be flexible for one week. I can be flexible serving my Colombian brothers and sisters. Just call me Elastigirl, because I will do whatever is needed and be wherever they want me. 

 But what about in life? Can I be flexible and just go with whatever God plans for me?

 Confession: Saturday mornings when my mom asks me to go to the store with her, I freak out. I don't mind going to the store with her. I want to go to the store with her. But I had planned to shower, clean the bathroom, do other cleaning stuff, and then write. Or do something else that needed to be done. But going to the grocery store was not part of the plan. It messes up the plan.

  That is how inflexible I am. Going to the grocery store can ruin my day.

 Confession: Today I turn 23, and by now I had planned to be married and to have written and published a novel.

 Confession: I am not Elastigirl, as much as I want to be perceived as a girl with a free spirit. The free spirit part of me is internal, not external and certainly not ready to go to the grocery store or be single for only God knows how many years.

 I mentioned in a previous post that in 2017 I want God's agenda to be my agenda. I need to be flexible. I need to let Him take me to places I did not plan.

 Colombia itself has already been a lesson in flexibility. There were rumors in my church of a trip to India, and that is where I wanted to go. But it's not India. It's Colombia. And I'm already falling in love with this place I've never seen.

 So can I fall in love with all the other unexpected things in my life?  A job wrapping chocolate? 23 years of singleness? A future that seems very foggy and dark to me? Being unclear about what state to live in and what job to pursue?

 It won't be as easy as falling in love with Colombia, but it will be my birthday wish, my birthday prayer, today, to fully believe that the life I wanted, the 23 I imagined, is not, could not have been as good as the 23 I have now, simply because it is what God wanted for me.

How to Share Good News // Colombia 2017

 I am going on a trip and this is all I have packed so far. Typical. A journal and my passport. But the words and adventures that will fill that journal and that stamp they will put in my passport are what I'm looking forward to most, I think.

It is rare for me to have exciting news to share, so lately I have been wondering how to tell people my news.

 Do I let it come up naturally in the conversation?

 Is it the first thing I say because I cannot contain my inward excitement though on the outside I am calm?

 Is there a bad way and a good way to tell people? 

 What if I am sharing good news and my friend has only bad news? Do I have a right to share my happiness?

 Is there an art to sharing "biggish" news?

 Is this just another thing I am overthinking?

 Yes, I am overthinking it. While overthinking is great for writing it is not usually good for life.

 So I decided to do what I wanted.

 I kept the news to myself for a while, a special secret only I knew. Then I told a few close friends, one with a sudden burst of excitement, another in an email with other things.

 Then I slowly expanded and told people as I so wished.

 And now I am telling you; In about three weeks I am going on a missions trip to Medellin, Colombia!

 I am very excited about this trip for many reasons:

 1. I have always longed to explore new places, especially different countries. In high school, though I wanted to travel and had an opportunity to travel internationally, I wasn't ready. In college, I was ready, but I didn't feel like I could ask people for money to go on a trip that was purely educational. Plus it always interfered with my friends' weddings and would have been a logistical puzzle as far as getting me out to Michigan during May or early January when I wouldn't normally be there for school. So I never traveled.

 2. I feel like a mission's trip is a good "use" of my singleness. Not that it is my only purpose as a single woman or that married women can't pursue short or long term missions, but it does make temporary overseas missions so much easier. I have no husband to think about or children who need me. I asked my boss if I could have the time off, he agreed, and that was all. So simple.

 3. This is the first time in my life that I remember being truly grateful for my singleness and lack of my own family. A woman in my church with a lot of kids told me how excited she was that I was able to go on the trip. She also admitted that she was jealous. There was no way this woman could have gone on this trip, or even thought of it for a moment. Her husband would have had to take a week off of work to stay with the kids. He would have had to take over everything, from homeschooling to running the household. Though I am sure he would have been willing and also perfectly capable, she really couldn't go.

  Though I pray for it not always to be so, right now I am thankful to be so unattached. 

 4. Most importantly, we are going to be helping a seminary and pastors in the area. We are going to bless them with our service and help the gospel go forth in Colombia, and I am beyond excited!

 5. Through this trip, even though I haven't left yet, God has been showing me more of His faithfulness. Family and friends have been generous in supporting me financially. People have told me they will cover the rest of the money I need and saying to tell them if I don't have enough.  My boss is giving me the week off during a busy season when he has every right not to let me go.  I have faced my fear of needles this month more times than I think I have in my entire life, and God did not leave me.  He is teaching me to trust Him more as I travel to a country with many mosquito born illnesses despite the fact that I'm a mosquito magnet. 

 Right now my life feels exciting, and God has been faithful during this time. When I return from my trip and I settle back into the mundane, He will also be faithful. 

 He is always faithful. And even though I know many people who are hurting right now, this is news I shouldn't wonder when or how to share.